Friday the 13th (1980)

Friday the 13th is bad by many standards: as a serious slasher film, as a so-bad-its-good-slasher film, as one of the "defining" slasher films. It's just bad. Why did I love this movie then? Friday the 13th is kind of lovingly made even though it was only put together in an attempt to cash in on the success of Halloween. Friday the 13th is your proto-typical teens-in-the-woods-being-stalked-by-deranged-killer movie. There's a dark forest, a full moon, a conglomeration of horny teenagers, and a murderer with a bone to pick. There is nothing new here. Nothing very original, or at least by modern standards. Yet the film is kind of deliciously fun in this bad 80's way. Don't expect to be won over in favor of this movie based on my review. I just want to opinion-spout.
The film begins in 1958, opening on a cabin full of oh-so-pleasant camp counselors at Camp Crystal Lake. Two of them (they're not important enough to get into the actors names here) have been make googly eyes at each other, and once GIRL stops strumming that guitar in what appears to be a nightly ritual of group sing-a-longs, she meets BOY and they make their way to a different cabin to, well, ya know...(and if you don't, it's sex). But before they can get down to business, our killer sneaks into the cabin and kills them both. Fast forward to Friday, June 13, 1980. Annie (Robbie Morgan) is an all too eager (that's not meant to present her as the possible killer, she really is just so happy and eager it is quite vomit-inducing) girl whose headed out to Camp Crystal Lake as a counselor. She hitches out a ride with Enos (Rex Everheart), but not before being freaked out by the town weirdo Ralph (Walt Gorney) who warns her against going to Camp Crystal Lake. She doesn't listen, naturally, but it's not long into the car ride before Enos starts up with the not-so-cryptic warnings. Of course she doesn't listen. Guess what? She's the first to die.
The other counselors are already at the camp, and we have: Ned (Mark Nelson)- the undersexed goofball, Jack (Kevin Bacon)- the guy whose personality is unclear because he's too busy being oggled at by the camera, Bill (Harry Crosby)- Yeah, I really was given nothing to work with concerning his character, Marcie (Jeannine Taylor)-the uh, slut, maybe? not really, oh, who cares, Brenda (Laurie Bartram)- the kind of viper-ish one, and Alice (Adrienne King), the nice girl. It's not too hard to guess which one survives. Our teens goof off, shoot arrows too close for comfort at their fellow counselors, kill snakes, and play strip monopoly. It's a grand old time before people starting getting killed.
There are some early scenes that are laughable in how poorly conceived they are. The scene in which the camp's owner Steve Christy (Peter Brouwer) interacts with Alice is unintentionally hilarious. Why in the world is it necessary for there to be some suggestion of a sexual history between the two? It is not further mentioned in the film, it's never explained or delegated importance. It's just this idea kind of floating in the waters of Camp Crystal Lake. There is no reason for it to exist. I also love the film's method of foreshadowing like when Ned shoots an arrow near Brenda as she's setting up the archery range. Oh my, I wonder how she's going to die?
The film builds until the point where it feels it can then let loose and just shove an axe through any pimple-free face that emerges into the next creepy doorway. The buildup didn't bore me, as I found the glorious 80's homespun quality to the film refreshing.
The death scenes are gory and uninspired, but at the time were considered new and daring. There's an axe to the face, slitting of the throat, stabbing, arrows, decapitations. Oh, and and an arrow to the throat in the film's just-so-completely-terrific scene where Kevin Bacon gets his after getting some. I loved how transparent the film was in its statement that "SEX=DEATH. Get the picture?". Again, I had to give the movie props for being so utterly obvious. More ambitious pictures would have tried to bury the statement in seeming irony and nuance and reflexiveness. Not this movie. If you're going to have sex, you're going to get an arrow to the throat. Capuche?
The atmosphere, although nothing to write home about, is effective. Woods, dark cabins, shadows, lakes, it all works. The scene in which Marcie goes to the bathroom and is met by the murderer whose just picked off her boyfriend is surprisingly creepy.
The climax is just plain terrible, devolving into a bitch-slap-fest more than anything else. I don't want to ruin the surprise, so I'll just leave it at that.
Oh, what of the acting and script you ask? Sigh. The performances are pretty boring, especially King who creates one of the least interesting, relatable, or likable survivor girls I've seen in a long time. She just smiles and screams her way through the film. I was hoping the killer would take pity on the audience and knock her off too. No such luck. Morgan, although in the film for such a short amount of time, was just so, so bad and completely annoying. But I guess I have to thank somebody for making the choice to not make her our heroine.
The script is...oh, fuck it, who really cares? This is a slasher flick. You accept certain truths and move on.
The ending is a shameless rip-off of Carrie and yet jolting in it's moronic way.
I liked this film for all the reasons I panned it. Reviewing esteemed movies all the time gets tiresome. I like biopics and Academy Award winners along with the best of em'. But sometimes I just want to watch a fun movie. Friday the 13th fit that bill. It had some effective scenes (Annie in a car with the killer was unexpectedly eerie, or the scene in which Alice locks herself in a closet to hide herself from the killer, and the doorknob suddenly turning above her head), some nice creepy atmosphere (creepy, dingy bathroom, forest illuminated by light in background) and some good laughs (mostly unintentional but hey, I'm not picky). That's all I wanted. That's all I got.